22 Days of Losing Paul

Week One: It is a very strange feeling. I know I will be ok, and I know that I have much love and support but life will never be the same again. There is this huge, bold mark on my timeline. The before, the after. I am not the same person. It is not my first big loss and grieving process, but it is the first loss of a sibling. I am not sure how to do this. I don't want to do this. I am still tumbling from the rug being pulled out, however people all around me are (as am I) going grocery shopping, banking, driving, working, planning....It's like in the movies when the scene is paused but some objects are still going by in slow motion. Surreal. I am so very grateful for the love and support of my husband, kids and grandkids and other siblings, family and friends. I treasure the evening just spent with Tommy, my sisters and brother in law, sharing in communion and prayer, laughing and crying and singing/worshipping together as we remember Paul and hold on to our lifeline, our Hea…

Who Am I

October 27, 1966 I was born (and mostly) raised in and around St-Eustache,Quebec.  A small, yet historically significant town north of Montreal.   If you click on the link, the famous church they are referring to is where I had my first communion and where we had my father's funeral. Our family burial plot is there. 
My Father was French Canadian Catholic.  My mother English Protestant. Let that sink in a moment. That is a whole other story on it’s own.

If you ever get a chance to watch the documentary Quebec My Country Mon Pays, please do. It is so well done!  That will show you the kind of environment I grew up in.  And some of the exact area too, much to my surprise when I watched it. Here is a link to the trailer   It is only 2 minutes long and really worth the watch.  The film itself really resonated with me.  I cried more than once watching it. The Revolution Tranquille and the FLQ crisis.  I remember being 4 yrs old and hiding under our ki…

The HIGHS and the lows of 2017

The HIGHS and the lows of 2017 - A tragic loss, a serious illness, a wedding, a new job and a move.  Another big year 

My latest blog post. It's not very poetic or creative in any way shape or form. Just wanted to get it done. So far behind with the crazy move and having no internet etc. Aplogies

January The year started off very intense.   Our granddaughters Cadence and Crystal’ s baby brother Keegan passed away suddenly when he was only a few weeks old.  Although I have experienced many hard losses over the years nothing prepared me for this one.  I never thought I would one day be walking down this road with those girls. They are too young to experience the loss of a sibling.  I am so grateful I got to hold him and cuddle with him. A gift I will always treasure. There are no words to describe the heartbreak and everything the family went through with such a devastating loss.   They are strong and amazing but please continue to keep this precious young family in your prayers.

It …

Thanks Facebook Memories..Totally forgot I wrote this in 2014

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
 I could hear Tommy snoring, he scared off that mouse! 
The gifts are all wrapped, the bags are all packed 
awaiting the morning, I best hit the sack.
 But first before I lay down my head,
 I must light candles, read advent, eat cookies instead.
 I'll eat and I'll read, I'll ponder and pray.
 Jump out of bed in the morn and we'll be on our way! 
Through snow covered mountains, a possible avalanche or two, 
we'll do it for family - heck wouldn't you?! 
To see grandkids and kids, family, friends, and their brother. 
Oh the anticipation, my heart is aflutter. 
I'll end on this note, I wouldn't wish you much love 
and the best Christmas yet! 

God Bless us everyone!

Thankfully did not get stuck in an avalanche but we did drive through a Winter Wonderland

My Home Within My Home

My Home Within My Home

The wind is howling. The tea is hot. I hear the laughter of a child coming from the next room as I sit on my rocker and plan my day.  Many plans have been made from this rocker, many little ones rocked to sleep, many sleepless nights and tears shed right here.  There is something about this chair that makes it a fundamental part of my day, that makes it MY chair.  It has become a place of comfort for myself and others, my office, my prayer closet.   If I  had to leave in a hurry and grab only one piece of furniture from my living room, without hesitation this would be it.  I absolutely love my wooden antique ironing board but that could eventually be replaced.  Nothing could replace this chair. The feel, the sounds, the memories. It strikes me funny as I write this that I can't imagine a day without it.  What would I do? Where else would I go to have this home within my home?  I generally take it for granted, as we so often do with things that matter most to…

Learning The Sabbath

Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.  Exodus 20:8
Sabbath Definition -  a day set aside for rest and worship. According to Exodus 20:8 the Sabbath is a day of rest commanded by God to be kept as a holy day of rest, as God rested from creation.
Today’s Story:
Once upon a time, when I would think about, or attempt to keep the Sabbath, it didn’t go so well.  I really had no clue.  Over the years I have felt confused and or frustrated and sometimes like a complete failure, or I would just ignore it all together.  It has gone in cycles that looked something like this.
I would decide “Ok we are going to do this. It is an important Holy day.  We need to obey and honor God in this.” But how?  What is the formula? What are the Rules?  Rules and regulations. I am very good at following rules. (Kinda like the Pharisees)  No shopping, no working….. Sit on the couch and stare.  Now what? We’re not supposed to do anything. This feels insane, not holy.
Then, to top it off, I would try to practice th…

The Boy Turns 17 Today!

Celebrating Kayleb - An Unexpected Treasure

Collecting shells, rocks and twigs, observing busy bees
The swings, muddy boots, stinky socks and scraped knees
Bubble bath beards, bedtime stories and a song
One Tin Soldier that's fine, but I can't stay too long

The tree fort, trampoline, the dogs and the garden
Sour rhubarb, the creek, and learning to pardon
No snakes in the house!!!  Never ever ever ever!!!
But please remember dear sir, that I'll love you forever

The tickets are purchased, it's time for your trip
Your plane has arrived, I can feel my heart skip
Sights and people to see in Montreal and Quebec City
Then over that bridge to our Island so pretty

Almost 4 months of lobsters, beaches, and red sand
We were happy to have you, the visit was so grand
The only thing better that could make us more merry
Was the trip to Nova Scotia aboard that big ferry

4 generations of who? What's going on?!
4 generations of YOU, in River John
This trip of a lifetime, we could no…